All my life, I have been a person of a smaller frame. I am shorter than the average Indian woman and owing to that, I have stayed in a particular weight range. But then, I entered my thirties and my body changed. My hips became bigger and my shoulders broadened – as some would say my “problem areas” emerged.
Only that this wasn't a problem. This is a very obvious transition. Women’s bodies change to accommodate a potential living being inside them. It is one of the ways nature passive-aggressively asks you to hear the biological clock and get knocked up. But most of us, people with a uterus, rarely respond to this change as a biological function. As I did not. Not fitting into my older clothes took an emotional toll on me and the environment I live in, did not help.
Our body rarely stays the same and the change varies for people. For some it is medical, for some it is a response to slowing metabolism, for some, it is the lack of time or will to exercise, and for some, it is unable to part from foods that make them happy.
Accepting one’s body for the way it is and not comparing it to a standard decided by culture is body positivity. But then, why does putting on weight warrant “acceptance”? This is when body positivity for weight gets complicated – when it is intertwined with health and fitness.
We encounter the language around health and fitness that goes something to the effect of less fat content in the body, lean frame, and size S. There is this song around “feeling good” sung by people who work out regularly – and yes, while dopamine rocks, this song has a layer of insensitivity attached to it.
Instagram and media messaging worsen this cause. Content around eating better and spending x minutes working out all to feel skinny are distasteful and thoroughly tone-deaf. Case in point, HealthifyMe’s latest ad with Sara Ali Khan.
Using health as a reason to “slim down” is one of the worst things that has happened to our culture because the end goal is to rarely manage triglyceride levels, hormonal fluctuations, and weak muscles but to look a certain way and fit into the set size.
And we are all guilty of doing this. Partly because we are products of conditioning ourselves and partly because debilitating health problems have never knocked on our door. And if they have, we have been made to feel bad about its repercussions on our weight.
In our culture, it is normal to comment on someone’s weight loss the minute you meet them. We don't realise the fact how it can be the worst way of greeting someone. Why? a) Because it weighs down the person at the receiving end to think how terrible they looked before this point (this invariably, after a few weeks, turns into skinny shaming) and b) Because there must be someone around who is struggling with their changing body and immediately feels crap about their own progress or lack thereof. This is one of the many subtle perpetrators of a toxic culture I would definitely not want our children to grow up in.
But what is the solution? The seed of the issue is sown unfathomably deep. Being okay with changing body is very hard. I am coping with this in the following way -
Do a health check-up every 6 months and see your levels are in the required range
Stay the hell away from fad diets, Instagram accounts that ask you to cut certain foods; eat what suits your body
Either stay away from people who talk about their weight loss all the time or encourage them to look at life beyond it
Enjoy a meal you love without guilt. Shut down people who create negative afflictions around eating a lot. This can be you, yourself too
If only a part of your body is becoming bigger or feels different, understand why it is happening and figure out what you want to do about it without shaming or hating it
Exercising is generally good; be okay with it not showing a dramatic effect on your weighing scale
Do not comment on someone's weight loss or weight gain. Weight loss is not compliment-worthy, just like weight gain does not deserve criticism
Do not complicate weight-related body positivity with health and fitness. The world is not so simple